Weird ass month....

I like to be busy...but I love to chill and read a helluva lot MORE...barely keeping up with headlines makes me feel like a dumbass, ill-informed. boob. It's been pretty wild. Many "Big" deals and long range impacting decisions to be made...well, actually only 3, but they loom large.

I like to be in my home...this current residence is by far my least favorite dwelling, overall...but we manage to make it comfortable and it was slim pickings when we moved in such haste. I wish to be home more...have baked treats for my babes when they get off school; make long, involved killer dinners and most of all, the time spend with my honey's and Shug.

I'm sick. I have to address it and be serious. Can't do much until first of the year, but at that time, it has go to be one the major priorities. Poor health rattles me and I'm not gonna think about something I can't do anything about, expeditiously. Next..

I saw Craig today. Awkward--talked too much...he makes me hella nervous...or rather I allow myself to get stupid nervous around HIM...since the beginning!  My voice changes; I go all bi-polar and I end up acting like some silly fan getting star struck! Damnedest thing ever..So ridiculously self-conscious. Wtf? Not my best self.. I really hope to put that gig back on the shelf, cause for real it's ALL BAD. It's a shame I can't be his friend, but I cannot. I gotta stop running into him. Period.

I'm working too much. It doesn't suit me and  I don't want to. It's meaningless beyond a means to pay bills and the extraneous miscellanea. Boo to dumb work. Hiss to office politics--are we back in middle school? Drama is bullshit. I think sitting in my office is lovely and I should be more grateful to be employed--it's a stretch,  because I truly I don't buy it, but trying to authentically get there in my pea brain...

Christmas is upon us and another year nearly over...weird month/year, with challenges and a lot of growth in certain areas--all 3 of us. We are an independent team. Hmmm..

I like the New Year --closure and fresh starts, hopefully. This is of course self-imposed, but January is always cathartic. More shit to unload....serious mini-hoarder status going on...